Being There as a Mother

I wrote this little essay a while ago after I had this experience with Spencer. It was a simple experience, but I felt like I should share it, so I sent it to the Ensign. They didn't want the article, but said that they hoped that it could bless my family. I have debated putting it on, but I decided I would. You can all fill in the details and gaps with the info I couldn't fit in! Love you all!

I am blessed to be a mother. My sweet son entered the world almost two and a half years ago. My pregnancy was enjoyable and difficult as my husband and I managed our full time university school schedules and anticipated the birth of our little one.

Spencer was a joy and blessing, but quickly met the struggles of mortality. We took him home from the hospital following his birth only to return the next day due to a serious infection. This infection was resolved much more quickly than anticipated and he was home again. He gagged and spit up a great deal, was diagnosed with acid reflux, and struggled with a milk allergy. He was hospitalized again for a different infection at 2 ½ months old while we were away visiting family. After this hospital stay, we had some follow up visits and were then free from any serious illness for several months.

When Spencer was almost 11 months old, he sustained a burn to his right foot and leg, as well as his left foot. Although we were lucky to be free from more extensive injuries, this posed a great challenge and trial for my little family. We were required to clean and bandage the burn twice daily, and in about one month, Spencer underwent a skin graft surgery on his foot. Following the surgery, we still had a long road to full recovery, but we were sustained as we continued forward.

These experiences with my son enabled me to draw near to him as I cared for him through these struggles. They helped me learn that the Lord always sustains us when we keep our covenants and do what He asks. Many of these difficult experiences came while my husband and I were both in school full time in rigorous programs. We had great help from our family during this time, and they served as our earthly angels. I was given many priesthood blessings, but one blessing stands out greatly. I was told that my Father in Heaven was pleased with the decisions I was making, and was then admonished to always put my son first. He told me that being a mother was the most important thing I could and would do, and that as I put this duty first, other things would work out. This blessing was fulfilled to the fullest extent, and I saw miracle after miracle occur in my life as I put my family first. I was able to finish my education, and I am now blessed by my decision to say home with my son.

Partly because of Spencer’s trials in life, we have struggled maintaining a good sleep routine. We are still working with him to establish a good routine. Recently during the night, I heard his little voice calling for mommy, and entered his room to lay with him. He almost immediately fell back asleep, and with his eyes closed and a tired voice, asked, “Mommy, you there?” I reassured him that mommy was still there, and he drifted off to sleep. His sweet question touched me in the middle of the night, but more so as I have reflected on what he asked.

I want to “be there” for him during his life. I want to be there when he is happy, when he is sad, when he leaves for school and comes home. I want to be there when he accomplishes good things and makes decisions. I want to be there when he is tired and cannot see clearly, but manages to ask, “Mother, are you there.” I want my reply to always be, “Yes, your mother is still here.”

Sometimes we have experiences in life that render us unable to constantly “be there” when we want to, but I testify that as we do our very best putting the right things first, the Lord will make the difference . In Moroni 7:33 we learn that the Lord makes it possible to do whatever is expedient in Him. Whatever is expedient in Him is what is right and good.

I testify that if we will make the decision as mothers to be home and be there for our children, we will influence when it is most important. I testify that if we will be mothers and fulfill our calling with all our heart and mind, sacrificing to put other things aside, we will be blessed to do all that is required of us and our joy will be full.